In the land of little boxes that you scroll through lives and perfectly placed cameras- you begin to yearn for something raw. I think that when Instagram began, the idea that you could paint a perfect picture of your glass house was ideal. Filter this, crop that. Wow! Such a concept to have this life as you portray it but not as it clearly is. So when a box comes along that appears raw and real it feels like a glimpse of truth. And heck, we all like that. We want to feel like our failures aren’t just us. We want our shortcomings to have company. This person was applauded _person after person pressed that like button because what seemed like reality and refreshing rawness was what they needed. We don’t follow people to get nothing, Right? We follow because we get something out of it.
Let’s rewind. When I came to Instagram I myself liked the rawness. From the get go I wasn’t into cropping this or filtering out that: I wanted my true colors to be me. When I began my business this reality didn’t change. I wanted my page to show how I felt about my work. I am sensitive, colorful and positive. I chose people that had these same values to represent our shop. I didn’t just instantly add people to our team. I chose those that loved spreading kindness and were always purchasing items. So when this spunky tot was often wearing items purchased from my shop it seemed the right move to have her represent. It was such a great match. She seemed to be so at ease and candid. Just what I would hope for. Over time our relationship grew and changed. She wasn’t just repping my brand but our personal pages were followed and us moms, we had a friendship growing. I enjoyed getting to send her items as gifts. I loved getting a birthday care package together and seeing her rock little extras like temporary tattoos that accompanied her purchases. As our business relationship changed, so did our personal. I would try so hard to extend that extra something her way.
Then..,No longer could she ‘afford’ to shop nor did she even appear to be liking any of the items posted on the business page. As time went on my personal page no longer had any likes or comments. You could say she became a ghost follower. I hung tight and gave all benefit of the doubt. We all go through stuff. I sent her a message from the business page discussing a dress & she mentioned feeling like she just wasn’t into it repping and vented a bit. Maybe that was all it was…
Well I had gone the extra mile yet again by sending this gifted dress and the dress came back refused. I was confused. Then that same day, I was shown her negative words bashing not only my work but my character. How and why would she be so hateful? To appear more well like by other shops?
I don’t like confrontation. I’m that person who wants so badly to see the good in every situation. Every person! So I hung back. I waited to see if she would come to me. Others we both knew would surely tell her I was aware of these words she wrote. She was clearly done with our relationship. Possibly she would put in effort like she used to when it came to being part of our team? I waited. I unfollowed from my personal realizing if anything was to be dealt with it would be outlet business. Then she messaged me: Why did you unfollow us? Did we do something?
I just felt that gut wrenching feeling. That true honest knife in my back. Was she really playing dumb? How could she even ask?! So I let it marinade. I confided in my husband. I cried about it. I prayed. I thought deeply and as I went to reply I was suddenly blocked. Wow. So this was all a sham?! I had thought we were friends but I obviously was naive which ironically is a word she used to describe me. We are just a rock to stomp on, on her way to the ‘top’. My feelings felt hurt and I realized I needed to really rearrange my thought process. I needed to follow my gut the moment things felt off. I knew my mistake lied in not acting on my instincts sooner. She was done representing our shop when she stopped purchasing. I was blind by a fake friendship. I too bought into the rawness of her little glass boxes. Instagram can be anything you like- it’s your platform. You can say anything you like. People gobble up your manipulation and lies because like me; most people like to believe the good. So you can act like the victim, claim to be hurt or bullied and all these people who think they are standing for good vs. evil become an ally. Anything goes- they are your tiny boxes. But let me just say: lies are translucent. Karma is real and the life as you live is anything but raw.
To the woman who taught me a huge lesson in business and in life: you don’t deserve an explination. I didn’t play into your attention games or sob stories because that’s what you wanted to play out. You unblocked me in time to publically show my argument. No thanks. I’m writing this for me. You hurt me. You used me. You played on my emotions and huge heart. Nobody else will do that because my gut will now be trusted 100%. The sad part to me is that you use your daughter to manipulate others. You continue to do so and although you play ‘real’ as you head to the ‘top’ you are the fakest of the fake. I pity you & pray…